My name is Chuk. I have struggled with many addictions and struggles in my life that has caused me so much grief and heartache in my relationships. I have been addicted to alcohol, drugs, gaming & pornography.
I suffered from depression, was prone to aggressive behaviour and have been unfaithful. My life was once dominated with hate and anger. My addictive and destructive personality was going to lead me to prison or to an early grave.
The saddest thing of all was that I did not care which one it was. I was hurting and felt empty, I was prepared to try everything in a vain attempt to feel and be fulfilled. The cause of my pain started in my early years.
I had witnessed domestic violence from my early memories, been separated from my parents from an early age during my many years in boarding school in a different country and experienced loss and heartache when my mother passed away at 18; that triggered my excessive alcohol/drug consumption.
The pain of abandonment when my mother died while my father was detained for almost a year, the pain of reliving the last words I heard from my mother on the telephone “I will see you tomorrow morning”, the next day however,she died of a cardiac arrest on the way to the airport.
My childhood years were soaked in fear, hatred, anger, uncertainty and misogyny. All of which had caused me to become a very insecure individual afraid of displaying real emotions, afraid of sharing intimacy, afraid of failure….simply afraid.
For years I could mask the pain and fear behind an elaborate wall but once I found Gemma (now my wife) or more aptly, once God placed the woman I would spend the rest of my life with, my road to redemption began! I was so hurt and damaged that the file of my life had been archived with the highest classification.
It was going to take a supernatural effort to free me from the prison I had built in my mind and it would require the most loving enduring mate (my wife) at my side to help me follow the perfect escape plan that had been orchestrated by God.
Today my wife still helps me to follow that plan and I can say with certainty that I am free! I have been free from alcohol and drugs for many years. I am free from the hate, the anger, the passive aggressiveness and the violence that once dominated my life. I am free from all forms of addiction.
Now when I say free from pornography, I mean it no longer masters me. This does not mean that the cravings are gone. I discipline myself by not having an iphone, tablet or a personal laptop and although this prevents me from accessing the internet, the real accomplishment is what Christ is doing inside me.
On very irregular occasions I do relapse, however the distance between each relapse is months as opposed to days, praise God!
The wonderful thing is that my wife supports me in this battle and has witnessed the transformation of her husband from spiritual decay to spiritual revival. My brothers and sisters, the best is yet to come for us all!
So how did I become free?
In my desperation, I cried out to God because everything else had failed once the temporary measures reach their sell by date. No human counsel, no amount of riches, not the number of qualifications or number years in education and not even religion delivered me from my wretched state.
My life had to be transformed so that I could live a life that is full of love and Joy. A life that in embalmed in a peace that surpasses all understanding. I found that new life in Jesus Christ. He is my Lord and saviour. I am not ashamed to admit that I needed saving.
Now that I have been delivered, I will never deny Christ and will make Him known to others so that they can live a life that is full of hope, joy and true pleasures!
Second, Christ gave me the strength through His Holy Spirit to forgive those who had hurt me. This was difficult, but wow the effects are life changing! The heavy long chains of anger, hurt, pain, grief, were broken and they continue to fall away till this day.
So, I am starting this blog to share how I am overcoming the trails of this life through the strength of Jesus. If pouring out my heart can help just one person turn their life around, then I have been blessed.
Even if this is not received well, I am still blessed because I have done what God has asked me to do. I am to share testimonies or a word about topics that often gets overlooked in our church or society.
I will be open about the things we may suffer in silence and together we can break the hold they have on our life. John tells us that “In Him was life and the life was the light to all men. And the light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not comprehend it”. We shall overcome the darkness in the name of Jesus.
As this community grows, I will place more in this section. I will also place news of the charity I will be building in the near future here!
Life is a journey we are on our way to Christ. Together, with a hand extended to a brother or sister, we can navigate our way through the complexities and trials of this life. When i fall you pick me up and when i fall you will pick me up. Please contact me via the contact for if you want to pray and discuss anything I have mentioned in more detail. Your brother in Christ, Chuk.